I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
