Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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