her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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