I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
