I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize
