walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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