the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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