hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
