we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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