It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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