I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
