You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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