So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I have already put on my inside pants.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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