Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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