we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
