I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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