big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
