She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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