Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Vodka?
Forever.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
