She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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