I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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