I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
