I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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