Sacagawea was the original milf.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
