k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
