1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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