another moral hangover. fuck.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize