just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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