Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
pray to the hookup gods
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