quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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