I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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