Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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