we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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