mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
