ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
