I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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