oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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