Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
