addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
