well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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