he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
