In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
