I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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