I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
