so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
