I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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