I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
