I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize