Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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