She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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