apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
