ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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