bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
