you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I bet he comes in French.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
no you cant smoke seaweed
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
