I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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