sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
